Those of us who have so-called “genital herpes” are caught between a rock and a hard place. We are proud that we have helped create a paradigm shift in how people think about herpes. Unfortunately we are also responsible for creating a harmful and Terminally Ill paradigm of fear and loathing of those who have genital herpes.

While it is important for us to advance our knowledge and understanding of herpes, it is also important that we put into our practice care and support for those people whose rejection we have been. The truth is that most people with herpes, like folks who get cold sores, experience a lot of fear and hurting when they are ostracized or minority groups challenge our membership. We need to take on this challenge head on and be compassionate.

Osticating genital herpes in people who do not have herpes is the quickest route to isolating and funneling them into the arms of our hate. For those of you with genital herpes it is important to realize that our Hate has been unfair to you all this time. And it will be even more unfair to you when they decide to make fun of you at every opportunity which is exactly what will happen if we keep demotivating people with herpes.

While it is clear that workplace accommodations are different than herpes outbreaks there are still a lot of differences between the two. For example, very often one person who has genital herpes will not experience any symptoms from the outbreak until it is miles in the future. The other person may be in the exact same condition as someone who hasn’t had herpes outbreaks. Even today, 2007, the exact same kind of experiment has been repeated by the same group of people. It is clear that herpes has more than one stage and multiple outbreaks are not common.

It is only natural for us to be protective of our own community and not embrace those who we know to be negative. This kind of blanket expulsion unfortunately is a damages to our community because people are pushed out of their lives. Legitimate concerns for people with herpes should be addressed by all who are involved in the care of this population. Including the people who are choosing to spread the word around herpes prevention tips.

List of commonly requested herpes facts:

1. There is no such thing as “safe limit” forGenital Herpes.

2. There is no such thing as “genital herpes Cycling”.

3. “Once bitten say never again”.

4. “Cure Control”.

5. “I’ll have to get tested before I have unprotected sex”.

6. “If I admit I have herpes, will they give me a bum discharge?”

7. “I admit I have herpes, why won’t you just let me die?”

8. “So you don’t cure me, you lousy doctor, you lousy hospital, lousy pathology, lousy pharmacist and lousy psychologist.

9. “I’m not sexy anymore, I know I’m sexy now, I’m just not sexy in the STD sense anymore”.

10. “I don’t know how herpes is classified, I thought it was STDs. What was I doing, humping bubbles of FACETE?”

11. Quoting lines from Girls by Stud, except skipping the part where they ask him if he’s ever had anal intercourse.

12. Also skipping the part where they ask him if he’s ever ejaculated and he says “um, once in awhile”.

13. Also skipping the part where they ask him if he’s ever had sex.

14. He’s tired of being tired and not sexy because he’s had a cold for three weeks.

15. He’d rather have sex with his invisible partner than with a real woman.

16. He’d rather sleep with his invisible partner than with a real woman.

17. He’d rather have sex with pretend women than with a real woman.

18. He’d rather dress like pretend women than with a real woman.


20. *This is not surprising at all.

21. If you haven’t guessed by now, the main reason he’s dressing like a woman is because he wants to be thought of as a woman.

22. He wants people to think that he’s a woman.

23. In order to think of himself as a woman, he has to present a feminine shape.

24. This makes it far more likely that he’ll get herpes and/or another STI because he has a broken condom.